I Am Closed

I am closed.
The ache is real

I long to be loved,
But it's loneliness I feel

The trumpet is sad.
The trumpeter dead.

Melancholia;
Blue tinted sadness and dread

My heart is heavy:
Aching, lonely, cold

Openness is fear
Laced with winks of old.

Is this my making?
I'm stuck...fully exposed.

I can't find the key.
I am closed.

When?

When is enough enough?

When do I discover the cause?

When is the truth laid bare?

When does the lying take a pause?

When will these questions stop?

When will the answers come?

When do I discover my worth?

When am I enough, just because?

When will mirth fill the void?

When will sadness seek less applause?

When will my anger eat me alive?

When will I forgive, find freedom?

When?

When?

When?

Wasted

Wasted

I wasted away the day today.

A melancholy wake, 

I fought to hold on. 

Yet still, it slipped away.

The sun set. 

The colors faded. 

Youth disappeared.

I hesitated.  

Life, by time, is but a day. 

A moment to breathe,

A second to play. 

I wasted away the day today

Listless, gripping,

Waiting, longing

My moment, my moment, slipped away