Monday, September 24, 2012

Reclaiming the Center

Friday night I took back the center of my bed. I unconsciously propped myself up against two pillows to read and realized that I was not propped up on the right side, but in the center. That may sound strange given that I’m a single man and can sleep anywhere in my bed I choose. If you’re familiar with The Secret by Rhonda Byrne you might understand why it is I was letting this middle zone go unused.

I was introduced to The Secret several years ago by my friend Neal. He called me one afternoon to tell me that the panel on Oprah that day might interest me. I was busy and the call went to voice mail. I didn’t listen to the voice mail until Oprah was nearly over. If memory serves, there were five minutes left in the program; enough time for “thank you’s” and “goodbye’s.” Thanks to the invention of the DVR I didn’t have to miss it though. Having walked away from my television while watching the ABC station on which Oprah aired in syndication in New York City, I merely had to rewind to the beginning of the episode to see what Neal thought I might find so intriguing. 

I have always been glad that he called and that the DVR rewind option gave me the opportunity to not miss that episode.

I was stuck in a rut and yearning to change my life back then. I’m still craving change now - but the struggle is much different; I was at the beginning of it then. I was desiring change, but hadn’t started to make one yet. You might say that The Secret was the catalyst that started me on my journey toward change. I had read or attempted to read other self help books in my life, but it wasn’t until The Secret that I connected to the possibilities that lie in the Universe just waiting to be called upon for service. Maybe the content was dumbed down or maybe I was in a more open place mentally to receive, but the words made more sense to me than any others I had ever read.

I watched that panel of experts talk about asking and receiving, creating vision boards, and being thankful for what you want but don’t yet have, and knew I wanted to be part of their be-positive-get-results world. Being positive is hard for me. It was hard for me then, but thankfully it was harder then than now. I have grown, even if just slightly. I may still struggle with seeing the silver lining when I’m really just waiting for the other shoe to drop, but at least these days if that shoe does drop it’s a silver shoe.

What does all of this have to do with me sleeping in the center of my own bed you ask? I’m getting to that.

There is a story in The Secret that tells of a woman who thought she had done everything right in order to attract her perfect mate. She had gotten clear with the Universe about what she was looking for and was confused as to why the Universe had yet to provide him for her. She returned home one day and parked her car in the center of her garage. It was that moment the cartoon light bulb switched on above her head. She realized she wasn’t making any room for her potential mate. I know you may be rolling your eyes. I know this sounds silly, but these kinds of things are what The Secret is about; being clear about what you want and acting as if you already have it.

She was ready for her him to enter her life, but all signs she was giving the Universe were contradicting. From that day forward she started parking on one side of the garage to make room for his car. She made room in her closet for his clothes. She started sleeping on her side of the bed in order to leave a side for him. In true fairytale fashion her fairy godmother did a little bippity-boppity-boo and her perfect mate came into her life.

I don’t know how long it took for him to show up and I don’t know how she remained positive. The Secret uses the story as an example of getting clear on what you want and living like you already have it; being thankful for it everyday.

It’s not as simple as “ask and ye shall receive” tomorrow, and there’s no fortune teller on the boardwalk saying, “your wish is granted,” but it does make one think differently. 

I was affected positively by The Secret. That’s not to say that I believe it’s magic. What I mean is, reading it gave me the tools to act and think more positively than I used to. I say, “thank you” every morning when my feet touch to ground as I’m getting out of my bed. That is the smallest gesture of gratitude I can offer the Universe, but I do it because I am thankful; thankful that I had a good night’s sleep; thankful that I have another day to live, breathe, see, sing, write, and enjoy the life I’ve been given. It seems a no-brainer to start the day by saying, “thank you” now. Funny how it took reading The Secret to understand that.

I don’t have a car and I don’t have the closet space to leave room for a potential mate, but what I could do was sleep on “my” side of the bed. I’ve been doing that for years. There is no mate yet. But the reason for that, I realize, is that I am so unclear with myself and the Universe as to what I want that no amount of sleeping on “my” side of the bed is ever going to bring him magically to my door. 

So, I’m still working on figuring out me: how to be happy with me, how to love me. There will come a time when my happiness will envelope me and might even extend to another person. Until then, there’s no reason that I can’t sleep in the middle of my bed or even diagonally if I choose.

I just have to continue to be thankful there’s a center of a bed to sleep in. Maybe my potential mate likes to cuddle and we’ll share the center. Who knows.