Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Freedom is the Connection

I've spent the past few days trying to figure out how to connect the two films I recently watched. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE, an exploration in realizing that what you really want is right in front of you and AMELIA, about drive, determination, freedom, never giving up.

Amelia Earhart was a woman who realized at a young age what she wanted and was fearless in achieving her goals. That's not to say she wasn't scared at times, but she didn't let anything stand in her way. Least of all the fact that she was a woman. I'm scared too. I'm progressing though. Even if it's just a little bit, it's progress. Even talking about what I want is a step closer to it. I refuse to be a victim of laziness and/or fear. I refuse to feel trapped. Amelia wasn't a victim. She wanted to fly and she did. She found the freedom of the sky. Max in WTWTA found the freedom to run around, be loud, smash things, and be unruly, surrounded by creatures that not only let him do what he wanted, but happily joined in and encouraged the merriment and mischief. He also found the freedom to go home. As Dorothy said, "If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own backyard; because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with." Don't get the idea that I want to move back home to KY. Backyards can be anything and anywhere.

If we create our own destiny, if we make our own luck, then there is never an excuse for feeling like we can't do whatever our heart desires. How can I ever let anything bring me down? How can I do that to myself? How can I let negativity block the positivity? How can I lose sight of all the good there is to gain in the world?

As I was walking home after seeing AMELIA there was a knot of dread just under my heart. The dread was going home. The previous night, my neighbor upstairs had had a gathering. Thankfully, the music wasn't loud, but the conversations were loud enough that I could understand them. I had such dread about what was going to be happening in my apartment building that I couldn't fully enjoy the present moment. Wow, I fluctuate so much. I know that I've written in previous blogs about living in the moment. It's hard to practice what you preach. Back to the walk home. I kept repeating out loud, "I'm strong," "I'm not a victim," "I can handle this," "I can do anything I want," "Release the knot."

I have moments that absolutely shine with positive energy and then there are moments so mired in the negative that it's hard to function. Saturday, October 24th, I was frustrated, upset, and angry about my upstairs neighbor from the night before. I let it affect my entire day. I let it! Me! The one person who could choose to let it go, didn't!

Maybe the only connection between the two films mentioned above is freedom. I need to learn how to be free. Free to sing at the top of my lungs, free to walk in my apartment, free to "let the wild rumpus start," free to take to the air, free to love and be loved, free to speak my mind and give my opinion.