The Paris

With a glass of J. Lohr Paso Robles Cabernet poured it is time to reflect upon this evening.

Like Carrie Bradshaw did in an episode of Sex and the City, I took myself on a date to The Paris tonight. I must admit that I've been curious about and wanting to go to The Paris for years. I have no excuse for not visiting sooner. Laziness or fear of subtitles comes to mind, but I'm going to plead the fifth.

I was expecting something spectacular as I walked through the art deco doors, but what I found was an ordinary theatre. It did however have a curtain covering the screen. A purple curtain to be exact. I love a curtain. I love it when the curtain opens to reveal the screen as the previews start. It harkens back to another time when going to the movies, much like attending the theatre, was a glamorous event. An occassion that one dressed for.

The film I saw tonight, MY ONE AND ONLY, was not subtitled. It was a period piece plus a comedy and a road trip movie rolled into one.

There were two important things that stayed with me after the film.

1. The main female never played it safe. She always said "Things will work out for the best." She never sat around waiting for something to happen. She went out to make it happen. It didn't always happen, but you couldn't say it wasn't from a lack of trying. She was compared to a cat, always landing on her feet. I am working hard right now in my own life to overcome the fear that keeps me weighted to the ground and prevents me from soaring to the sky. I have to stop limiting myself, and my possibilities, with this fear.

2. Don't look in the rear view mirror. It doesn't matter what's back there. Actually in terms of driving you have to look in the rear view, but in terms of life you don't need to stare too long. We have to learn from the past and that means looking at it, but dwelling on the past too long is not healthy for the present. I sometimes think too much about things in my past, especially with my dad. Things I wish were different. The fact is those things happened and they're over. I'm older, he's older and we're different people now. If I stare too long in that mirror I don't progress in my life I just drown in memories that won't let me grow.

I had a great childhood, and I love my dad. I just think a son more like him is what he wished for. He got a creative, funny, loyal, gay son instead. The "instead" is instead of a fishing, hunting, sports playing, loving all that is outdoors, kind of son.

The point of this is, I have to face the fear so it will get out of my way, and stop dwelling on the past and live in the present. I can't change anything back there anyway and fear is an ugly color no matter what season it is.